Jock Itch? No Jock?

Best blurb never to be used (or even considered): "If you've got jock itch but no jock, then this is the book for you."

How better to laud You're in the Front Row, the book by sports radio gabber and big event statistician Glenn Capelito promising to show readers how to find their place within the sports industry without enough (even any) athletic talent who pair that with an excess of interest?

DeNouncer's Dudette

Australian roller derby's DeNouncer Dude, Robert Anderson, wrote for his young children and others interested in a kid's book about swinging elbows, whips, pushes and the glory of an individual within a team. The straighforwardly named Mimi discovers her life's love in I Know a Girl ... Who Skates Roller Derby! If not quite as magical as some of the work by Dr. Seuss — whose first book And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street has just celebrated its 75th anniversary — it might be relevant to remember that Anderson had to write around his own two- and five-year-olds, while Seuss was able to be magical without any youngsters underfoot.

Crushed to Pulp

Some hulking guy got the crap beat out of him.

Ignoring any dark, psychological insights into humanity it is easy to see how that truth is part of the allure for both hockey and the crime fiction genre. So welcome Brad Shade, lead in sportswriter Gare Joyce's The Code — the title referring to the unwritten rules for the human demolition derby taking place in hockey rinks throughout Canadian winters.

Answering questions about his first foray into crime fiction sportswriter Joyce offered what's left in the crucible when all else has been burned off: "On the ice, desire, hockey sense and, yeah, talent matter. That stuff is clear cut. Off the ice it’s about money and ambition and schadenfreude. What more can I tell you?"

If a Mallet Isn't Handy ...

While there is often little point in reviewing reviews, once in a while attention is demanded. Thus it is for the review of Serious Croquet by Croquet Network Magazine. Boil down the review of celebrity photographer Bob Chilton's eye on the wealthy wielding mallets to shepherd colored balls through wickets and you get a fascinating dictate. In short, the reviewer advises that if someone doesn't think croquet is a real sport with a depth of soul and emotion then you should use the side-table sized collection to clock them over the head.

The Good and Badminton

Be clear. It's not bad mitten(s). That could be what a non-Romney (Mitt) favoring  South Carolina Republican primary voter might think as they head off today to vote.

It's badminton (bad-min-tn), and thinking on that subject should include Lee Chong Wei, Malaysia and World No. 1, and autobiographer of Dare to Be a Champion. He describes it as, "... about the hardship I went through as a player. Hopefully, it will generate more interest among the youngsters." Here, of course, we are not necessarily counting more interest among youngsters in Asia where badminton evokes national passions. It's youngsters in the west, where the money still is and where, unfortunately, it is almost impossible to find the book or even learn about one's obligation as a badminton fan.

Football Rah Rah Blah Blah

In most places the 1970s are dead. These places do not include the minds of many Texas football fans  who continue to celebrate America's Team, the Dallas [football] Cowboys. While they began their season (AGAIN) with lots of promise and hullaballoo about how this would be their season, they ended it with eight wins and an equal number of losses — admittedly an improvement over their 6-10 record the previous season. Despite mostly middle of the pack status since two 1990s Super Bowl wins (the team is 3-5 overall in SBs, losing 4 times in the 70s), the 'Boys reputation among the faithful remains undented. For that audience, a quick read through Breakthrough 'Boys, AP Texas sportswriter Jaime Aron's new book, will spiff up the lenses nicely on their rose-colored glasses.

For what it may be worth, fans who want to put down their pinkly-hued lenses for a bit might take a look at Aron's website celebrating his prematurely-born twins and raising money for the March of Dimes.

Cup of Great and Teaspoon of Mundane

Martin Luther King Jr. is remembered today in the United States of America with a Monday holiday. A man of letters, as well as a civil rights icon, King is honored today with people recovering from watching football playoffs and road races. Thus do sports and the authorial life too often mix.

The Canadian-American Dream

A Canadian — honored by baseballs hall of fame — stands behind the American dream. Who knew?

And now for the devil in the details. Edmonton-born W.P. Kinsella, author of the 1982 novel Shoeless Joe, which formed the basis for the 1989 Field of Dreams movie, has received the Joe Graney Award from the Canadian baseball hall of fame in recognition of the 30-year-old book. As none of his characters ever said, "Write it and they will come ... eventually."

Boring Sucks! (and is bad biz, too)

For Working Out Sucks!, the first question is, which came first, the title or the text? The next question is how big a raise did the marketing person get who came up with the book's promise to "speak truth to blubber"?

WOS is the product of quick-and-cheap and open-all-time Anytime Fitness franchise CEO Chuck Runyon and team. After the attention-snatching opening phrase, the cover spews out the remainder of the marketing pitch: "(And Why It Doesn't Have To): The Only 21-Day Kick-Start Plan for Total Health and Fitness You'll Ever Need," which does suggest wonder at how many "21-day kick-start plans for total health and fitness" one might be considering, or even how many one might be exposed to.

Work out regularly. Eat well. Think healthy thoughts. All pretty bland advice that probably would never sell without turning the amps up to 11 with a title. And that's how you create an international business with 1800+ franchises stretching from Qatar to Mexico City to Hastings, Minn., that mixes mirrors, music, metal and vinyl and has the customers do all the work themselves ... and pay to do it.

Help Yourself to Harm

Yoga a sport? It's got real winners and losers according to William Broad's The Science of Yoga. Of course, they can be the same person as practitioners go one on one with themselves. Pushing past balance they often "win" (or "lose") by causing themselves hip, ligament and nerve damage, even brain trauma and even in one case a stroke. The first take in The New York Times has already stirred controversy in the community, more to come as the book likely heads to best seller lists.